DAA # 9

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APeXMinistries.com

Number 9
Dec. 6st, 2000

Greeetings from the headquarters of the international conglomeration known to enlightened creatures as APeX Ministries. We hope that you took time from over stuffing yourself with turkey to take time and give thanks for all the wonderful gifts in your life.

Don't forget that if you receive the paper APeX Attacks (completely unique from this digital publication) by US Mail you need to send us your AIN. (That is the number next to your name on the address label.) If you do not do this you WILL BE REMOVED from our mailing list. If you do not receive APeX Attacks by US Mail, but would like to, please send us an e-mail with your name and address.

We are proud to announce the world premiere of Audio APeX Attacks (AAA), which can be found at http://apexministries.com/AudioAPeXAttacks.html. AAA #1 is a three part interview done by Gene with singer/songwriter Jesse Manibusan. The interview was recorded in Jesse's kitchen in May of 2000. In this interview Jesse talks very candidly about his life, his ministry, and his music. He explains the stories behind a number of his songs and shares many stories he does not share on stage. You will be amazed at the wisdom Jesse shares in the stories from his daily life. The total running time is about one hour, which has been broken into to three parts for your listening convenience and it hardly takes any time at all to download on most computers. Please take the time to listen to this interview (even if you don't know Jesse or his music). We promise you will be glad you did.

Our inventory management staff had some recent problems in the APeX shipping department. If you have ordered a t-shirt recently and did not receive it, please send us details of your order (about when it was ordered, what color and size, and if the check has cleared). All staff involved will be dragged out in the street and flogged.

Your brothers in Christ
Gene and Brad

PS: Don't forget to forward this on to your friends who would appreciate it.

While brooding at a coffee shop I had just a thought
Why Not?
Up coming shows
Web Page Updates

While brooding at a coffee shop I had just a thought
by Gene David Monterastelli III

I asked Jesse Manibusan one time what he said to people when they told him that they wanted to do what he did for a living (which is being an itinerant music minister). He said something to the effect of, "For some reason there is something inside of you which has compelled you to come and talk to me. There is something that is inside that needs to ask questions about this type of life. That does not mean that you are called to do this, but for some reason you are being called to ask about it." I have found amazing wisdom in that statement in terms of my own experience. There have been a number of times in my life in which I have felt that I was truly called to do something, to be something. I poured my heart and soul into making it happen in my life. Many times when I have given my all to something I was not lead to where I thought I was going, I was led instead to a new question. A question I never would have found if I would not have first pursued my first thought of calling with such vigor. How I ended up in APeX was much that way. There was over 10 months that passed in my life from the time as a college junior, when I decided that I was going to do two years of service after graduation, to the time I decided to be a part of APeX. I never would have gotten to the point of thinking that APeX was possible as a full time job (and lifestyle), unless I first tried to understand what it would mean to do service for a few years.

Ten months ago Brad and I were helping out with a retreat for a parish from Winter Park, FL. At the beginning of the retreat, like most youth gatherings, we did some icebreakers to…I guess break the ice. All of us were given a note card that was on a string. We were to make a nametag. Our first name was on a sticker which was placed in the center. In each of the four corners, we were to write our favorite band, the place we were born, a hobby, and favorite place to vacation. Above our name in the center we were to draw symbol to represent our lives. In the center of my note card I drew the picture of a sign at a crossroads. Now, I know all of this not because I have a wonderful memory, but because over ten months later the nametag is still on my kitchen table. I did not save it because it was a great moment, but I just don't throw stuff away. Anyway…the reason that I drew the crossroad sign is because I understood my life in that way. I knew that something very significant was going to change in my life. I had no idea what it was, but once again my soul was calling out from inside of me telling me that it was no longer being able to articulate itself in the way it wanted. In the three years prior I had grown significantly as a person, and I now needed to make a change in my life to reflect who I had become. For the first few months it was nothing more than a dull rumbling. Something inside of me telling me that my life was not complete, but I was not recognizing any real guidance. As time passed a number of new ideas came to me. Some of these ideas came when I was in prayer or particularly when I was at daily Eucharist. But many others came in many different moments. I received insight from movies that I saw and books that I read. I received insight from conversation with friends and reading the backs of cereal boxes. As I received more and more insight, I started looking for it everywhere, in every conversation, in every bumper sticker, even from homeless men and women (see DAA # 7) for that story found at http://apexministries.com/PastMailingLists/20000802.html). There were at least half a dozen different ways I thought my life was heading over the course of the last six months. They have ranged from doing radio to being a priest. Some of the ideas made my soul light up right away and others I had to warm up to. I believe that I tried to pursue all of the calling I thought I received with my full heart and mind. Every single one of these led me to one thing, more questions. The more I pursued what I thought was my calling the further I was pulled away from that calling as I learned more about myself and asked myself more questions. I even tried to do a few of them. It would be easy to call those attempts failures. They were not. They were experiences which led me to questions and ideas I never would have found without the experience.

So here I sit, more than 10 months later. I have been all over the map emotionally. I have been so excited at new prospects. I have been scared almost to death by some of the sacrifices I have thought I have been called to make. I have been frustrated that I would never find my way. I have even been in a bathroom in a high school in New Hampshire puking my guts out because I was so stressed about whether an idea was really going to happen. To be honest, I have no clue if I am any closer to where my soul hopes to be than I was when I was filling out that nametag. The one thing I do know is that I have learned so much about myself. I found myself confronting new feelings and situations. I have responded in ways I never would have dreamed (some I am very proud of, others I am not). I have lost lots of sleep, cried some and laughed even more. I still don't know where I am going, but I have learned that right now the destination isn't as important as the journey I have taken (and am still taking). Every time I have thought I have been called to do something, I was wrong. I was not called to any of those things. I was called to think about them. I was called to understand myself.

Why Not?
By Brad Farmer

Life is crazy isn't it?! Just when you think you have everything figured out and you get a little settled and maybe even a little comfortable… BAM! Something happens (or sometimes it's something more subtle that slowly grows from a gentle nagging into a bigger concern) and you're challenged to acknowledge and assert your spiritual self. We're constantly growing and in need of growth! (Oh beware the stagnant man… his soul starts to stink, like a stagnant cesspool. (Feel free to quote me on that one.) Lukewarmness is treacherous!) Our spiritual journey is never completed once and for all. And in this realization, it's important, essential even, to keep some right perspective about things. I was recently reading some parts of the New Testament letters (something I need to do much more often, but that's a whole other article) and I read something that I've read who knows how many times before, and as it has in the past, it jumped out at me as the thing I needed to reflect on once again. (You'd think I'd remember something like this, having come across it a number of times before, but it seems I need constant reminding… but that all goes along with that whole other article too.) It also "just so happens" (as if we really believed in coincidence) to be a great reflection for this holiday season. When you're up, when you're down, when you're happy or when you're sad, reflect on these wise words from Paul. In times of anxiety or times of peace, whether all seems right or your world is falling apart around you, not only think of this phrase, but DO it! Act on this holy and inspired man's advice!

Philippians 4: 4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

And now… let's pray together! Pray for peace, pray for joy… pray for kindness, pray in thanksgiving. The Lord is in fact very near, as we remind ourselves in this season of anticipation for the celebration of Christ's birth. The kingdom of God is in fact at hand! Powerful words! Powerful words! So let's pray to be a part of that kingdom…
Heavenly Father, you blow my mind! You are beyond any concept of greatness I will ever be able to dream up. Help us to celebrate that fact. You are above and beyond ALL things, as hard as it is for us to know what that even means when we say it. And so, because you are so much more wonderful than any words I could ever come up with, and because not only are you great but you are OUR God, even our FRIEND, help us to REJOICE in you! The true mark of one who has been in communion with God is their joy. And so we commune with you, God, and ask that Your joy may be poured out on us. Let that joy also manifest itself in our kindness, so that our kindness may be known to all and when others meet us, they get a glimpse of You. Righteous King, we pray that You help alleviate all our anxiety. Let us put all things in Your hands and teach us to be resigned that Your will be done, not ours. In Christ Jesus you have conquered even death… you have conquered all we fear most, and you are on our side. You created us to know this. Help us to REJOICE ALWAYS! And give us that peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind us time and time again to pray in all things… to pray constantly and with confidence, knowing that You know all that is in our hearts. We thank you for all these things and may our souls dance with the very thought of You! Amen!

Up coming shows

Please pray for us and for those we are blessed to serve on these dates

December 9th Diocese of Brooklyn Jr. High Youth Rally Brooklyn, NY
December 10th St. John's Frederick, MD
December 11th St. Louis Clarksville, MD

For a complete list of APeX's Schedule please visit:
http://apexministries.com/FutureShows.html
For booking information you can contact APeX at 888/522-2739

Web Page updates

The first installment of Audio APeX Attacks is up. It is an interview with Jesse Manibusan. You NEED to check this out! It can be found at:

http://apexministries.com/AudioAPeXAttacks.html

Important note: If you received this e-mail as a forward from someone else and would like to receive Digital APeX Attacks every time it is published, or if for some reason you have received this e-mail in error from APeX please follow this link to add or remove (though we couldn't imagine why you'd want to remove) yourself from the mailing list:

http://apexministries.com/MailingList.html

© 2000 APeX Youth Ministries, Inc.

--"Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words."

St. Francis of Assisi

http://APeXMinistries.com

APeXMinistries.com	Number 9 Dec. 6st, 2000
Greeetings from the headquarters of the international conglomeration known to enlightened creatures as APeX Ministries. We hope that you took time from over stuffing yourself with turkey to take time and give thanks for all the wonderful gifts in your life. Don't forget that if you receive the paper APeX Attacks (completely unique from this digital publication) by US Mail you need to send us your AIN. (That is the number next to your name on the address label.) If you do not do this you WILL BE REMOVED from our mailing list. If you do not receive APeX Attacks by US Mail, but would like to, please send us an e-mail with your name and address. We are proud to announce the world premiere of Audio APeX Attacks (AAA), which can be found at http://apexministries.com/AudioAPeXAttacks.html. AAA #1 is a three part interview done by Gene with singer/songwriter Jesse Manibusan. The interview was recorded in Jesse's kitchen in May of 2000. In this interview Jesse talks very candidly about his life, his ministry, and his music. He explains the stories behind a number of his songs and shares many stories he does not share on stage. You will be amazed at the wisdom Jesse shares in the stories from his daily life. The total running time is about one hour, which has been broken into to three parts for your listening convenience and it hardly takes any time at all to download on most computers. Please take the time to listen to this interview (even if you don't know Jesse or his music). We promise you will be glad you did. Our inventory management staff had some recent problems in the APeX shipping department. If you have ordered a t-shirt recently and did not receive it, please send us details of your order (about when it was ordered, what color and size, and if the check has cleared). All staff involved will be dragged out in the street and flogged. Your brothers in Christ Gene and Brad PS: Don't forget to forward this on to your friends who would appreciate it.
While brooding at a coffee shop I had just a thought Why Not? Up coming shows Web Page Updates
While brooding at a coffee shop I had just a thought by Gene David Monterastelli III I asked Jesse Manibusan one time what he said to people when they told him that they wanted to do what he did for a living (which is being an itinerant music minister). He said something to the effect of, "For some reason there is something inside of you which has compelled you to come and talk to me. There is something that is inside that needs to ask questions about this type of life. That does not mean that you are called to do this, but for some reason you are being called to ask about it." I have found amazing wisdom in that statement in terms of my own experience. There have been a number of times in my life in which I have felt that I was truly called to do something, to be something. I poured my heart and soul into making it happen in my life. Many times when I have given my all to something I was not lead to where I thought I was going, I was led instead to a new question. A question I never would have found if I would not have first pursued my first thought of calling with such vigor. How I ended up in APeX was much that way. There was over 10 months that passed in my life from the time as a college junior, when I decided that I was going to do two years of service after graduation, to the time I decided to be a part of APeX. I never would have gotten to the point of thinking that APeX was possible as a full time job (and lifestyle), unless I first tried to understand what it would mean to do service for a few years. Ten months ago Brad and I were helping out with a retreat for a parish from Winter Park, FL. At the beginning of the retreat, like most youth gatherings, we did some icebreakers to…I guess break the ice. All of us were given a note card that was on a string. We were to make a nametag. Our first name was on a sticker which was placed in the center. In each of the four corners, we were to write our favorite band, the place we were born, a hobby, and favorite place to vacation. Above our name in the center we were to draw symbol to represent our lives. In the center of my note card I drew the picture of a sign at a crossroads. Now, I know all of this not because I have a wonderful memory, but because over ten months later the nametag is still on my kitchen table. I did not save it because it was a great moment, but I just don't throw stuff away. Anyway…the reason that I drew the crossroad sign is because I understood my life in that way. I knew that something very significant was going to change in my life. I had no idea what it was, but once again my soul was calling out from inside of me telling me that it was no longer being able to articulate itself in the way it wanted. In the three years prior I had grown significantly as a person, and I now needed to make a change in my life to reflect who I had become. For the first few months it was nothing more than a dull rumbling. Something inside of me telling me that my life was not complete, but I was not recognizing any real guidance. As time passed a number of new ideas came to me. Some of these ideas came when I was in prayer or particularly when I was at daily Eucharist. But many others came in many different moments. I received insight from movies that I saw and books that I read. I received insight from conversation with friends and reading the backs of cereal boxes. As I received more and more insight, I started looking for it everywhere, in every conversation, in every bumper sticker, even from homeless men and women (see DAA # 7) for that story found at http://apexministries.com/PastMailingLists/20000802.html). There were at least half a dozen different ways I thought my life was heading over the course of the last six months. They have ranged from doing radio to being a priest. Some of the ideas made my soul light up right away and others I had to warm up to. I believe that I tried to pursue all of the calling I thought I received with my full heart and mind. Every single one of these led me to one thing, more questions. The more I pursued what I thought was my calling the further I was pulled away from that calling as I learned more about myself and asked myself more questions. I even tried to do a few of them. It would be easy to call those attempts failures. They were not. They were experiences which led me to questions and ideas I never would have found without the experience. So here I sit, more than 10 months later. I have been all over the map emotionally. I have been so excited at new prospects. I have been scared almost to death by some of the sacrifices I have thought I have been called to make. I have been frustrated that I would never find my way. I have even been in a bathroom in a high school in New Hampshire puking my guts out because I was so stressed about whether an idea was really going to happen. To be honest, I have no clue if I am any closer to where my soul hopes to be than I was when I was filling out that nametag. The one thing I do know is that I have learned so much about myself. I found myself confronting new feelings and situations. I have responded in ways I never would have dreamed (some I am very proud of, others I am not). I have lost lots of sleep, cried some and laughed even more. I still don't know where I am going, but I have learned that right now the destination isn't as important as the journey I have taken (and am still taking). Every time I have thought I have been called to do something, I was wrong. I was not called to any of those things. I was called to think about them. I was called to understand myself.
Why Not? By Brad Farmer Life is crazy isn't it?! Just when you think you have everything figured out and you get a little settled and maybe even a little comfortable… BAM! Something happens (or sometimes it's something more subtle that slowly grows from a gentle nagging into a bigger concern) and you're challenged to acknowledge and assert your spiritual self. We're constantly growing and in need of growth! (Oh beware the stagnant man… his soul starts to stink, like a stagnant cesspool. (Feel free to quote me on that one.) Lukewarmness is treacherous!) Our spiritual journey is never completed once and for all. And in this realization, it's important, essential even, to keep some right perspective about things. I was recently reading some parts of the New Testament letters (something I need to do much more often, but that's a whole other article) and I read something that I've read who knows how many times before, and as it has in the past, it jumped out at me as the thing I needed to reflect on once again. (You'd think I'd remember something like this, having come across it a number of times before, but it seems I need constant reminding… but that all goes along with that whole other article too.) It also "just so happens" (as if we really believed in coincidence) to be a great reflection for this holiday season. When you're up, when you're down, when you're happy or when you're sad, reflect on these wise words from Paul. In times of anxiety or times of peace, whether all seems right or your world is falling apart around you, not only think of this phrase, but DO it! Act on this holy and inspired man's advice! Philippians 4: 4-7 "Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." And now… let's pray together! Pray for peace, pray for joy… pray for kindness, pray in thanksgiving. The Lord is in fact very near, as we remind ourselves in this season of anticipation for the celebration of Christ's birth. The kingdom of God is in fact at hand! Powerful words! Powerful words! So let's pray to be a part of that kingdom… Heavenly Father, you blow my mind! You are beyond any concept of greatness I will ever be able to dream up. Help us to celebrate that fact. You are above and beyond ALL things, as hard as it is for us to know what that even means when we say it. And so, because you are so much more wonderful than any words I could ever come up with, and because not only are you great but you are OUR God, even our FRIEND, help us to REJOICE in you! The true mark of one who has been in communion with God is their joy. And so we commune with you, God, and ask that Your joy may be poured out on us. Let that joy also manifest itself in our kindness, so that our kindness may be known to all and when others meet us, they get a glimpse of You. Righteous King, we pray that You help alleviate all our anxiety. Let us put all things in Your hands and teach us to be resigned that Your will be done, not ours. In Christ Jesus you have conquered even death… you have conquered all we fear most, and you are on our side. You created us to know this. Help us to REJOICE ALWAYS! And give us that peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind us time and time again to pray in all things… to pray constantly and with confidence, knowing that You know all that is in our hearts. We thank you for all these things and may our souls dance with the very thought of You! Amen!
Up coming shows Please pray for us and for those we are blessed to serve on these dates December 9th Diocese of Brooklyn Jr. High Youth Rally Brooklyn, NY December 10th St. John's Frederick, MD December 11th St. Louis Clarksville, MD For a complete list of APeX's Schedule please visit: http://apexministries.com/FutureShows.html For booking information you can contact APeX at 888/522-2739
Web Page updates The first installment of Audio APeX Attacks is up. It is an interview with Jesse Manibusan. You NEED to check this out! It can be found at: http://apexministries.com/AudioAPeXAttacks.html
Important note: If you received this e-mail as a forward from someone else and would like to receive Digital APeX Attacks every time it is published, or if for some reason you have received this e-mail in error from APeX please follow this link to add or remove (though we couldn't imagine why you'd want to remove) yourself from the mailing list: http://apexministries.com/MailingList.html © 2000 APeX Youth Ministries, Inc. --"Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." St. Francis of Assisi http://APeXMinistries.com