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Originally appeared in APeX Attack #6 (April 2000)
Joia on Gene and Brad
By Joia Farmer
You know, when I was a teenager, I was PAINFULLY shy. So
much so that I would get blotches on my chest (still do) at the
slightest hint of embarrassment. If Apex had come to my church
and performed, I would have admired from afar, but NEVER would
I have even approached them. Why? Because they were “above
me” and I might make myself look stupid in their eyes.
They were “Rock Stars.” Alas, nothing could be further
from the truth. Brad and Gene are the most humble, approachable
people you’ll ever meet. They’re kinda human. So,
you ask, how human are they? What is it like to be married to
Brad Farmer? The opportunity to hang out with Gene on a daily
basis? Well, gather ‘round kiddies, you’re about to
be enlightened. First of all, as a disclaimer, I would like
to say that I love my husband dearly, and, well, yeah Gene too
(although he would respond with a rousing “I love rumble
strips” to this statement). So let the fun begin.
First of all, they are both as “boy” as you can
get.......Gene, well, Gene is a work of God’s art (and,
no I’m not talking about his hair color/shoe choices).....He
is the only person I know of that goes to movies by himself,
and is currently planning a trip to the Grand Canyon (again,
by himself). Now, girls, don’t make that “awww”
noise...he prefers it this way. He is also the only boy I know
who paints his toenails and fingernails (only on one hand, mind
you) and who someday his daughters will be asking to borrow HIS
fingernail polish. Gene has an extensive collection of things
that his mom gives him, which I find endearing, including a key
with a note attached which reads “So you can always come
home”(Good one, Rox)....Brad, on the other hand, is the
Best Dishwasher in the World. I have given him this title simply
because he is.... And contrary to his rock star image, I’ve
witnessed him cleaning up Alex’s poop with a plastic bag
on a daily basis. He is also known to clean toilets (a very
flattering chore for such a teen idol). Gene is a raging beans
and rice eater, and believes that eating cereal should be done
at any and every meal. Brad would rather live on Ramen, peanut
butter and Swiss Cake Rolls. Gene also wears this thing around
the house that I call “The Dirty Old Man Robe.” I’m
sure a lot of his fans would find it rather fetching. It’s
long, flannel and probably on the brink of disintegration. Brad,
I’m sorry to say, has never worn anything around the house
besides his trademark black pants and t-shirt, but I HAVE seen
him before the “little greens” get to him (which would
be after he washes his hair) and let me tell you......I’ve
even seen him with a ball cap on!!! (GASP!!) And to the dismay
of many an adoring female fan, Gene’s heart has been stolen.
(The cries of agony can be heard for miles.) She is a cute
little blonde named Bubbles. Yep, she’s a Power Puff Girl.
He adores her, in fact. If she were real, I’m sure Gene
would now be Mr. Power Puff. Brad doesn’t have a girlfriend
(he better not) but is rather fond (not a strong enough word,
mind you) of Buster Keaton, and every time I tell him there isn’t
anything on T.V. he says “WannawatchBusterKeaton?”
Um, no honey, thanks.
I tell you all of this for a special reason. Partly to unveil
their crazy little idiosyncrasies, but mostly for the following
reasons. When I have attended shows with Brad and Gene, I have
found it rather odd that people treat them like “rock stars.”
Even weirder is that sometimes they ask me for my autograph,
when all I have done is sit there and be SEEN with them. (Okay,
okay, I share a bathroom with Brad Farmer, but it’s not
always roses, if you know what I mean.) Now, why do I find this
weird, you ask? Simple. I don’t see Brad and Gene as striving
to be more than the average Joe(s) that they are. Not that they
don’t like the ongoing adoration of hundreds of fans, but
they could take it or leave it. This is also not to say that
their ministry is something that they take lightly. What does
matter is that they are doing this for a purpose far beyond what
a lot of people first imagine. They care so much about the youth
of today (yep, that’s you), that they want them to feel
self-worthy, assertive and strong in their faith, as they were
taught in their own lives. To simply tell someone how to live
their lives is, for some people, one very ineffective way to
bring about a message. But, to show them how living your life
faith-filled is the strongest message. Hence, the quote on the
back of the t-shirt that I know a lot of you own. “Preach
the Gospel all the time. If necessary, use words.” Not
a light statement. Also, a very fitting motto for Apex. They
want you to ask them questions about your faith. They are hungry
to bite into that spiritual apple. (Bad analogy, I know.)
In conclusion, I would just like to say that although it seems
like they are “above you” or maybe that they will not
care about your own personal journey, nothing could be further
from the truth. So, in the future, do me a favor. When Apex
comes around to your parish again, don’t worry about getting
in line for an autograph (although there is nothing wrong with
that). Instead, use their incredible knowledge of our faith
to your advantage. Ask them questions. Let them guide you.
That’s what they’re there for....Use it or lose it. |