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Originally appeared in APeX Attack #6 (April 2000)
APeX Index
Number of states visited: 34 (Alabama, Colorado, Delaware,
District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa,
Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota,
Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New
Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania,
South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, West
Virginia, Wyoming)
Number of states performed in: 31 (Alabama, Colorado,
District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa,
Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi,
Missouri, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New
York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina,
Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Wyoming)
Most people in any one audience who were in rocking chairs:
approximately 400
Location of show: Sacred Heart School, Hampton, NH
Why youth were in rocking chairs: Rock-a-Thon fundraiser
(those kids rock!...literally)
Amount of money raised: Over $47,000 (that is not a
typo)
Number of times Gene and Brad have been introduced as former
members of N’SYNC or the Backstreet Boys: 3
Reasons given for Gene and Brad’s departure: kicked
out (twice); artistic differences (once)
Fashion in which the notion that Gene and Brad were in
a boy band is dispelled: Gene sings on stage (Well he tries
to. It would be a stretch to call what he does singing.)
Condiment which Jesse Manibusan thinks should be a drink:
cocktail sauce (He drank his extra after eating all of his shrimp.)
Days Gene spent in Iceland: 2 ½
Gene’s goal in Iceland: to see a puffin in the
wild
Number of puffins Gene saw: 0
The reason why: They were in Scotland
Reason, according to a shop owner, they were in Scotland:
“They are playing golf. There is no good golf in Iceland.”
Number of times APeX rapped on stage: 1 (with b-boy
Jason Evert)
Number of times since APeX has been asked to rap on stage:
0
Number of Bishops who were on stage helping APeX out in
the last six months: 3
Number of Bishops who were on stage helping APeX who at
the time APeX did not know they were Bishops: 1 (“Here,
could you hold this, Father…..I mean, pleased to meet you,
Bishop.”)
Color Gene dyed his hair in February: Jerome Russell
Turquoise #1440
Color Joia Farmer uses to describe the color: 2000
Flushes blue
Number of times APeX’s luggage has not arrived with
APeX to work at a conference in 3 1/2 years of ministry: 1
Things received from the Holiday Inn when Gene informed
the desk clerk that their luggage had not arrived and they needed
some toiletries: 2 toothbrushes, 2 packs of shaving cream,
one razor, one small tube of toothpaste, one comb, 1 ice scraper
Brad’s explanation of why they needed the ice scraper:
“To help scrape the wax off when we wax Gene’s
back.” [Note from the editors: Gene does not wax his back.]
Recent introductions:
Scott Taylor (St. Amelia’s near Buffalo, NY) with a different
introduction for each class
“They were the final cut from Buffalo Bills”...“They
just finished video with Barney. It will be out in Nov., just
in time for Christmas”...“They are architects and just
finished a building in NYC”...“They parachuted in this
morning”...“Bert and Ernie were modeled after Gene
and Brad”...“They presented “Best Pop Music Video”
Award last night at the MTV Music video awards”
Nora Bradberry-Hale (Penfield, NY)
Elephant trainer and skydiver with head injury
Questions and comments from the students of St. Amelia’s
school in Tanawanda, NY:
Grade 1: Can you juggle to the ceiling?
Grade 2: Where did you learn how to juggle?
How did you get to be friends?
Are you guys clowns?…No… Good. Because she’s
scared of clowns.
Grade 3: What does a black hole look like?
How many stars are in the sky?
If you stand in front of a statue and juggle, you can make it
smile.
Are there such things as aliens?
Grade 4: How old are you?
Why is the grass green?
Why is Gene’s hair yellow?
Can you sing?
Sayings written along the four edges of an envelope of
a letter addressed to Gene and Brad: “When I was naked,
you clothed me” “When I was in prison you visted me”
“For when I was hungry you fed me.” “Gene stop
picking on Brad!” |