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Originally appeared in APeX Attack #5 (November 1999)
- For those of you who didn’t already know, every summer
APeX hires an apprentice. We feel that the experiences gained
from participating in a full time ministry and non-profit organization
can be very valuable, and we desire to provide that opportunity
to others in a growing experience. (Plus it means having someone
to do our grunt work for us.) Last summer, from many very talented
and qualified applicants, we selected Jeff Griffin of Vandalia,
OH for the most recent of a long line of APeX apprenticeships.
(OK, he was the second.) As part of his apprenticeship, he was
to keep a journal of his experiences with APeX. In its entirety,
the journal is very funny, but it’s also a very full month’s
worth. We will provide little snips of it here, trying to convey
Jeff’s experience and his personality, but if you would
like to read more of his experience with us last July, visit
our web page, ApeXMinistries.com, for the fuller version. And
now, without further ado, excerpts from...
Life Of A Rock Star
- by Jeff Griffin
Thursday, July 8, 1999 Day 8 Tuesday morning we drove
to Maryland to help build sets for the work camp, “Encounter
the Gospel of Life”, which we will be attending starting
Sunday. … Wednesday we spent ALL DAY SORTING NEWSLETTERS,
so read ‘em. … Today, I spent half the day SORTING
AND MAILING NEWLETTERS, so read ‘em. Then, we went out to
dinner to celebrate the fact that we finally got rid of the newsletters.
Friday, July 9, 1999 Today, we got up and headed to the
airport with our tickets to Atlanta for the Steubenville (which
is actually a city in Ohio, go Buckeyes!) Atlanta Conference.
….. After we exited the aircraft, we headed up the gate
at which point I asked Gene if someone would be waiting for us
when we got into the concourse, in response to which Gene shrugged
carelessly and said, “Ouh, uh,” which for those of
you who can’t read Blghbt loosely translates to “I
don’t know”. Now, by this response I could tell that
Gene didn’t know or even care that no one had found us yet,
so I took a hint and figured that it probably happened all the
time. ….. So we spent a very long time hanging around, loitering
like a bunch of punks who had just wandered in. That is until
dinner-time, when we went from punk to chairman of the board
in no time flat… Saturday, July 10, 1999 …B
& G performed…. right after the show selling T-shirts.
I was just sitting there, minding my own business when a whole
pack of wild predators attacked me, with an odd, yet insatiable
appetite for APeX Merchandise. When, out of the blue came the
lovely angel’s song of two adult chaperones saying “Can
we help?” Then, as if they hadn’t helped enough, they
also bought T-shirts! One of them bought 4! So, if you ladies
are reading this, I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you! If it wasn’t for your help, I’d still be
selling T-shirts now. Sunday, July 11, 1999 Today we flew
back to DC, and went straight to the Catholic University for
the Gospel of Life work camp. In fact, I still haven’t been
back “home” yet. (The only reason I put home in quotes
is because it’s not really my home; I wasn’t implying
at all that it isn’t homey.) In fact I’m sitting here
writing this in a Catholic University parking lot. … July
12, 1999 Today we went to our work sites for the first time.
Mine was called Friendship House and is like a day camp for DC
youths. Tuesday, July 13, 1999 … It never ceases
to amaze me though, the things that come out of these small children’s
mouths. For instance, today the kids were sitting...wait, wait,
no…running around and yelling in their classroom, waiting
for their teacher to arrive. Then, Daniella (now you’re
famous, Daniella) decided to teach them how to sing the song
“Pharaoh, Pharaoh”, (for those of you who know the
song, this will be funny; for those of you who don’t, just
act like it is, laughing makes you live longer, and I get paid
the same either way) in an attempt to pacify them. When the teacher
arrived, everyone stopped singing, and took their seats except
for one boy named Kevin, who continued with “Pharoh, Pharoh…Oh
baby let my people go, hoooh!…what is it good for, absolutely
nothing.” Thursday, July 15, 1999 … On a depressing
note, today was full of good-byes. We had to say good-bye to
the kids at our site (they cried) and we had to say good-bye
to everyone at the work camp and remind the girls that Brad was
getting married soon (they cried). Then I got back here and remembered
that I had to do a load of laundry (I cried). So it’s been
a rather tearful evening. Saturday, July 17, 1999 [editor’s
note: at Steubenville Conference for High School Age Youth III
in Steubenville, OH] … Phrases for the day are: … when
Jim Beckman was talking about no mo-joing around all night and
Fr. Andrew leaned over to Gene and asked “what’s mo-jo?”.…
As of today, I have seen and heard everything. I’ve seen
a priest and some nuns rapping (on two separate occasions, by
the way). I saw nuns playing tennis in full habits and I heard
a nun from New York in her Rocky-like accent talk about playing
basketball with gang members. Piece of Irony for today is a quote
from Sister Ann Marie Gill and goes as follows: “My talk,
which will be on how to deal with pain and suffering, will be
held in the air-conditioned chapel.” Sunday, July 18,
1999 Another day, another rap. Jeez, you’d think that
a priest would get tired of rocking the mic. …we flew back
to DC. … Monday, July 19, 1999 Today I slept in.
Wait, wait, I don’t think you totally grasped the importance
of that sentence so I’ll say it again. Today I slept in.
That’s better… Thursday, July 22, 1999 Today
we (Brad and myself) drove to Williamsport, PA for the Vision
Christian Music Festival. … When we got there, Brad was
immediately recognized and mobbed, (continued on page 9) an interesting…
change from Atlanta. Friday, July 23, 1999 Remember how
I said on July 17 that I had seen everything after the rapping
clergy craze? Well, I neglected to think about one thing. Today
I played croquet with a clown on stilts…nuff said. …
Saturday, July 24, 1999 Today we did another show, then
drove for four hours back to DC. I’ve calculated that within
the next two weeks I will have spent 80 hours in a car. Life
of a rock star, I guess. Monday, July 26, 1999 Today we
set off on our trek to Wyoming….. Later, as we passed through
Ohio on I-70, we came within a stone’s throw of my home,
which lies only a few miles from the highway. It was an odd thing
in my mind to come so close to my home and family after spending
almost four weeks traveling all over the US and always being,
on average, 500 miles from home, only to keep driving on a course
to take me even farther from my home than before. About five
hours have passed since that occurred, and we are now 300 miles
from my home. Tuesday, July 27, 1999 (sort of) …
what used to be well-defined days of the week have now merely
turned into non-specific intervals of light and darkness. We
got to Casper, Wyoming today at 1:00….. It amazes me there,
all of the hills and rock formations. Being from the state of
Ohio, where if you chop down all the trees, you can stand on
a tuna fish can and see the back of your head, seeing all these
mountains and bluffs is a totally different experience. Friday,
July 30, 1999 …..Gene and I arrived at the immensely
imperative titan of transport that is the Casper International
Airport to pick up Christian Musical Genius and World-Class Performer,
Jesse “T-Boy” Manibusan (the former ridiculously long
title is genuine and contains no sarcasm….. We went back
to Gene’s house and I accidentally fell asleep for two hours.
When I woke up, I was on the couch and the TV was on and I was
totally bewildered. I had no idea where, when or who I was or
why I was there. (I don’t know why I just wrote that…it
was just weird). Later that evening we went to Brad’s wedding
rehearsal dinner and played Barrel of Monkeys. Saturday, July
31, 1999 Well, today was the big day…Brad and Joia have
officially tied the knot… Congratulations, Brad and Joia!!
After the party, Gene, Jesse and I went to go switch cars with
Brad and Joia, because we have to drive it back east. What we
forgot to figure in was that Brad and Joia’s car had cans
extending out the hind end and was tattooed …”Just
Married”. Not being a quick thinker, I accepted when Jesse
so generously offered me shotgun. I quickly came to the realization
when we got on the road that Jesse wasn’t just being a nice
guy in his offering. But it gets worse. As we pulled up to a
red light, we were accosted by the prying looks of some curious
and judgmental high school girls. Before I could object, I heard
Jesse’s window slide down and it was too late. With a bellow
and a hint of menace in his voice, Jesse said to them, “They’re
very close.” I turned beet red with embarrassment and laughter,
but he didn’t stop there. He proceeded to say “They’re
both from California”. (Which I later pointed out was ironic
since Jesse was the only one in the car from California!) August
2, 1999 …or something like that Today we finally got
to my home in (Continued from page 7) Vandalia, Ohio …..
Well, that’s it. My journal of temporary rock stardom. I
hope you enjoyed it...
Closing Reflection:
I’m sure some of you, while reading this, have thought to
yourselves “We were expecting some words to live by….or
at least something redeemable” because of the dazzlingly
witty, yet silly form of writing. And I’ll be the first
to admit that one of my goals was to entertain. But, I’d
like to leave you with some things I’ve learned. In no specific
order.
- Chicks: They dig rock stars, not jugglers.
- Youth Ministry: Youth Ministry is good karma.
- Reaching out: It is completely impossible to spread yourself
too thin.
- Toasters: Don’t put cheese in ‘em.
- Shopping for groceries: When buying macaroni and cheese,
less colors on box = better mac ‘n cheez.
- The definition of “love”: Sometimes in our society
we use this particular loaded word loosely. And you see shortened
definitions on needlepoint decorated pillows and stuffed animals
which always begin with love is….Well, I believe I’ve
discovered an all-purpose definition which I think sums it up.
Love is when you see someone, and your first instinct is to give
to them. And you are so preoccupied and intent on giving to them,
that you would give your life.
- Gravy: Under normal circumstances, it’s not a beverage.
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