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Originally appeared in APeX Attack #4 (June 1999)
APeX' Index
Number of states visited: 29 (Colorado, Delaware,
District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana,
Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Missouri, Nebraska,
New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma,
Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia,
West Virginia, Wyoming)
Number of states performed in: 24 (Colorado, District
of Columbia, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana,
Maryland, Michigan, Missouri, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico,
New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South
Carolina, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Wyoming)
Gene’s highlight of 1999 so far: Seeing himself
on the Jumbotron at the Kiel Center
Brad’s most frightening moment of 99 so far: Seeing
Gene on the Jumbotron at the Kiel Center
Gene’s lowlight of 1999 so far: Not being able
to get someone to teach him how to Salsa dance
Gene’s hair color this year: blond, red, copper,
pink, blue, brown and black
Number of magazines and newspapers APeX has been featured
in the last year: 10
Number of those in which Gene and/or Brad were interviewed:
5
Number of those in which Gene and/or Brad were misquoted:
5
Number of Web pages APeX pictures can be found on:
3
The places Gene was from 1/21/99 to 1/28/99: Future
sight of the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial (Oklahoma City, OK);
The Kiel Center with Pope John Paul II (St. Louis, IL); Caldwell
Hall “just talking about the Pope” (Washington, DC);
Time’s Square (New York, NY); sharing a piece of cinnamon
raisin bread with Gergy the cat (Cumberland, RI)
Trip in retrospect, which doesn’t seem like such a
good idea now: (This is not to say we did not like the trip
or enjoy the people, we were just very tired) Friday noon fly
to Detroit, MI from Washington, DC; 3pm till midnight help set
up for conference; midnight get to bed; Saturday midnight to
6am sleep; 6am wake up; 7:30 am till midnight attend conference
(including 2 hours of performing); midnight get to sleep; Sunday
4 am get up; 5am ride to airport; 6am fly to San Antonio, TX
from Detroit, MI; noon eat lunch; 1:30pm take a nap; 4:30pm go
set up for show; 7pm perform show; 9:30pm eat dinner; midnight
get to bed; Monday 4:30am get up; 5am ride to airport; 6am to
Washington, DC from San Antonio, TX
Number of hearts broken at the announcement of Brad Farmer’s
engagement to be married: all the computer power in the world
could not count that high
Number of APeX Attacks mailed in January of 1999: 2107
Number of postcards sent to continue getting APeX Attacks:
80
Number of recipients who sent multiple postcards: 3
Number of postcards from Paul Lindaur: 10
Percent of people who responded: 0.03%
Number of people who offered money to get a lower number
on their label: 1
Their current number: 11
Number of APeX postcards received: 6
Gene’s favorite postcard: “frog” from
Rox Monterastelli (and he didn’t pick just because she
is his mother)
Brad’s favorite postcard: “kick the can”
sent in by Betina Besson (Sheridan, WY)
Cheesiest postcard: “Moosing Around” sent
in by the Sutton Family of Casper, WY
Sickest postcard: Rox Monterastelli (Gene’s Mom)
Most creative postcard: cut up piece of a girl scout
cookie box (but, alas, no cookies)
Other good home made cards: (They love us so much they
took the time to make thier own, so they get their name in our
newsletter. We cannot think of a higher honor.) Hugo DeLaRosa
(Alamo, TX) and Racgek Thelen (Ann Arbor, MI)
Best comment on a postcard “This is so I can keep
getting APeX” (That is right! If you send in a postcard
we will keep coming to your house.)
Places APeX can be found on the web:members.tripod.com/Jame55/webpage.html;
www.dioceseoflafayette.org/articles/102598/C/C.htm
Date the Official APeX web sight was to be up: October
1997
Date it now plans to be up: August 1999
The best APeX introduction to date:
Today Holy Name Catholic Church brings to you,
Two guys who have tapped rocks and tamed the shrew.
They’ve wrestled sharks and herded prairie dogs,
They’ve worn leather jackets and been road hogs.
They like to play games and joke around,
Sneak through enchanted forests and make funny sounds.
Gene likes for people to say hi
And he balances rulers and straws up in the sky.
Brad is best friends with macaroni and little greens,
But he’s not real concerned with his personal hygiene.
They’ve gotten really good at making each other a joke.
So good in fact, they’re going to perform for the Pope.
They like to throw things inside the church,
And each year their hair looks worse and worse.
They like barbecue and spreading the faith
And now you’re so excited you can’t wait,
To meet two great jugglers from Washington, DC.
They came all the way for you to see.
Gene Monterastelli and Brad Farmer
they’ve been said to be excellent snake charmers.
They are here to share God’s word and a couple of tricks,
Ladies and Gentlemen APeX.
By Blayne Spencer, Chickasha, OK |