- Originally appeared in APeX Attack #2 (August 1998)
 Coming Soon
to a Store Near You!
-
To say the least, the ministry that we do is not the most
lucrative of endeavors. We are always looking for ways to pick
up a few extra dollars so we can afford such luxuries as cheese
and shampoo. Taking a cue from pop culture we decided we would
try our hand at merchandizing. Below is a list of possible items
you will be able to buy in the future. Many of the items will
be available at no cost if you redeem your “APeX Points”
for them. (Big thanks to Micah Perry, age 11, who came up with
many of these products)
APeX The Theme Park With such rides as The Brad-a-coaster,
Wet and Wild Adam, and Mt. Gene.
APeX the Musical
The APeX Beard
Gene and Brad Action Figures Accessories would be sold separately
including the APeX Mansion with ornamental ironwork on the windows,
juggling equipment, and clothes for on or off stage. If you pull
the string on the back of the Gene action figure it says things
like "Hi. I am Gene and you are going to like me."
"Enjoy!" and "Cheers!" There would also be
a limited addition Malibu Adam action figure.
APeX All Terrain Gear
The APeX edition Subaru GL Hatchback Complete with replacement
door and spare (already assembled). Each one individually numbered
and signed by the semi-truck driver who hit it.
APeX juggling helmet
APeX Conogue
APeX shock collar
APeX Flak Jackets "All Kevlar all the time."
APeX Sponge Large enough to sleep on, but small enough to
take care of any household mess.
APeX Bridal Registry
APeX Franklin Mint Collector's Plates Each plate will have
a different scene from APeX's history including the formation
of the ministry, the first show, the first time Brad told the
story of the little greens and many more. Also available in a
very limited quantity is a plate with an error. This plate is
the centerpiece of many collections because there are so few
in existence. It is the Lazlow intern plate, but Adam is pictured
as a girl.
APeX Salt and Pepper Shakers Add
seasoning to any meal, right from Gene’s head!
APeX the Airplane ("Oh, that's not going to fly!"
Joia Ladd.)
APeX the Video Game "Legend of the Seven Clubs"
Chocolate Easter APeX's
WWAD (What Would APeX Do?) or WDAD (What Did APeX Do) Bracelets
Brad Farmer Watch A picture of Brad is on the watch face and
the hands are Brad's arms. The hour hand would be one of Brad's
regular arms. The minute hand would be one of Brad's arms holding
a club. The second had would be one of Brad's arms stretched
extra long.
APeX the Off Shore Land Scam (I mean Deal) You to can own
land on one of the Hawaiian Islands for only $49.95 a square
mile. You are asking yourself how can we sell such prime real
estate for so little. Well, it is very simple. The island is
still underwater but lava comes pouring up from below the ocean
shore adding to the island bring it closer to the surface each
day. By January of 2312 the island will inhabitable.
APeX Mass Gainer/Diet Plan
Gene and Brad Bobbing Head Dolls
APeX Cheese and Crackers (and pocket size bird)
APeX: Too Hot for TV 2 |