Originally appeared in APeX Attack #1 (February
1998)
APeX Index
Number of states visited: 23 (Colorado, Delaware,
District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas,
Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Missouri, New Jersey,
North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee,
Texas, Virginia, West Virginia, Wyoming)
Number of states performed in: 15 (Colorado, District
of Columbia, Florida, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan,
Missouri, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South
Carolina, Texas, Wyoming)
Number of autographs signed: 500 (approx.)
Number of Junior High Dances attended: 6
Number of Junior High Dances Gene attended in Jr. High:
0
Strangest comment about APeX on an evaluation filled out
by a High School student: "They are both very cute.
They touched me a lot."
Number of wind storms APeX performed in: 2
Number of dings put in Gene's bedroom walls as Gene and
Brad learned how to pass 7 clubs: 91
Number of black marks on the ceiling of Gene's bedroom
from learning how to juggle clubs: 41
Number of things broken in the house from juggling: Only
3 known, but a vase was broken twice
Number of people injured during APeX perform ances: Our
lawyers and publicist said we should say none
Number of youth ministers who said, "I am so glad
you are here." Which translated to "I am so happy I
don't have to deal with these 150 out of control kids tonight
and you have to.": 19
Number of mothers who tried to introduce Gene or Brad to
one of their daughters: 5
Number of record producers who wanted to do an APeX album:
1
Number of record producers who wanted to do an APeX album
in which Gene and Brad had speaking parts: 0
Number of priests clubs were passed around: 3
Number of bishops clubs were passed around: 1
Number of men dressed as women clubs were passed around:
1
Number of times Gene was punched by a bishop: 5
Number of times someone mentioned to Gene or Brad the need
for more priests: 3
Number of times Brad told the story of the "little
greens": We cannot count that high
Most hours Gene spent in one week "moonlighting"
at Andersen Consulting for a little extra money: 112
Number of hours of homework Gene did every week: 0
Number of meals Brad ate pasta: 276
Number of meals Gene ate beans and rice: 171
Number of meals Gene and Brad ate London Broil: 1 (someone
else bought it and cooked it)
Number of times Brad was recognized outside of a performing
context: 1
Number of times Gene was recognized outside of a performing
context: 0
The number of times Brad was introduced as winning three
Nobel Prizes in Physics: 1
The number of people who asked later what he did his research
on: 10
The weirdest combination of people on stage with Gene and
Brad: a bishop, three nuns, and a man dressed as a woman;
all of which were singing and doing ‘Christian Karate’
Number of people in the audience when this happened: approximately
4700
Number of publications Gene appeared in juggling: 1
Number of publications Gene appeared in juggling with his
tongue sticking out: 1
Number of times Gene or Brad was thought to be older than
21: 0
Most common age Brad is thought to be: 18
Most common age Gene is thought to be: 19
Brad's real age: 6’ 1”
Gene's real age: Blue |